20 Ways To Get Along With People

20 Ways To Get along with People
The purpose of this short course is to give you a working knowledge of the twenty greatest ideas ever developed for getting along with people.

Overview . . . The first three ideas are the heart of this course. Ideas number one and two help you get into the proper emotional attitude for good human relations. Idea number three is a general rule for interaction with almost any person in almost any situation. If you understand and apply these three most important ideas, you will never go far wrong in your dealings with other people. All the other greatest ideas in human relations are elaborations and applications of these first three.

Be as interested in the other person's happiness and well-being as you are in your own.

If you are truly interested in the other person, your positive feelings toward him will shine through everything you say and do, and he will respond positively to you. Your "good attitude" toward him is the essential foundation for any successful long-term relationship. Remember, "What goes around, comes around." If you radiate a good attitude toward the other person, he will tend to respond the same way toward you. Ideas one and two both deal with attitudes and feelings toward the other person. In order to have good human relations, it is necessary to have a good attitude toward the other person. But sometimes it is difficult to have a good attitude toward the other person. No matter how hard we try, we still don't like them or we still feel anger or resentment toward them. Fortunately, our actions are usually fairly easy to control, because most of our actions are under the direct control of our conscious will. And here is an amazing fact:

 YOUR ATTITUDE WILL FOLLOW YOUR ACTIONS.

1. If you perform a helpful act for someone, you will automatically improve your attitude toward that person. One sure way to kill your anger toward another person is to do something nice for that person. It is almost impossible to maintain a bad attitude toward someone if you continue to act in a good way toward him. So, if you want to get a good attitude toward someone, act in a good way toward him. Your attitude will follow your actions. The most troublesome hostile emotion is the emotion of anger. You can neutralize anger by making a direct conscious decision to forgive the other person for whatever he may have done to cause you to feel anger toward him. Your emotions are largely under your control, if you choose to take control. One way to make it easier to forgive the other person is to remember this: if you were the other person, you would probably have acted the way he acted and would probably have done the things he did, however terrible they may have been.

2. "Treat the other person the way you would like to be treated." This is the most powerful idea in human relations. You can apply this idea to almost any situation, and you will not be far wrong. This is the so-called "Golden Rule," the absolute founda- tion of harmonious, productive, positive interaction among people. All of the remaining ideas in this course are applications of The Golden Rule to different kinds of You probably like it when people smile at you and behave in a friendly way. So do the same to them.

3. Be courteous, You probably like it when people are courteous to you. you probably dislike it when people are discourteous or rude to you. So be courteous in all of your dealings with others.

4. Be truthful, without giving offense,You probably want people tell you the truth when you ask them a question; and you probably don't like to be offended. So do the same to others: tell the truth, but try to be tactful so as not to offend them or arouse their anger toward you.

5. Remember the other person's name, and use it frequently You probably like it when other people remember and use your name. So do the same to them. Arguments are very negative. They poison good human relations. You probably don't like it when someone argues with you. So don't you argue with them. And if you see an argument coming, take the appropriate steps to neutralize the argument before it causes too much damage. Relationships are much better when both people focus on their areas of agreement rather than their areas of disagreement. Most people agree on more things than they disagree on. So if you focus on your areas of agreement with the other person, your areas of disagreement will seem smaller and less important.

6. Show honest appreciation.

You probably like it when other people take the time and interest to recognize and appreciate the good things you do. So do the same for them. Everyone does some things worthy of appreciation. Find them, and recognize them in the other person.

7. Try the other person's point of view

You like it when the other person understands your perspective and can see problems the way you see them. So do the same for him: try looking at the situation from the other person's perspective.

8. Give full attention to the other person when he is talking. You like it when people pay attention to you when you are talking. So do the same for them.

9. Talk in terms of the other person's interests

You probably like to have other people talk with you about your interests. So do the same for them. Find out what things they are interested in, and steer the conversation toward these things.

10. Admit you may be wrong This idea is so powerful and so useful, it is almost like magic! Here's what to say, whenever there is a disagreement as to a matter of fact: "Now, I may be wrong about this. I frequently am wrong about things. But this is the way it appears to me:" (And then state your beliefs.) By admitting you may be wrong, and by admitting that you frequently are wrong (You are, you know. We all are.), you almost force the other person to admit that he, too, may be wrong! Then, with egos out of the way, you can both search objectively for the truth! And if you really WERE wrong this time, it is so much easier to endure the correction if you had already admitted that you might be wrong!

11. Let the other person do most of the talking. You probably like it when people let you do most of the talking. So be quiet, and let the other person do most of the talking. It won't hurt you, and you might learn something.

12. Let the other person talk about himself.

You like to talk about yourself, don't you? We all like to talk about ourselves! But restrain the urge, and let the other person talk about himself, instead. He will love you for it.

13. Let the other person take some credit

If something has worked out well, don't grab all the credit for yourself, even if you think you deserve it all. Spread the credit around, share it with the other people involved. They will appreciate it, and you will be a better person for not being so egotistical.

14. Let the other person save face.

The expression "saving face" means to maintain dignity, or not to look like an idiot or a worthless person. Sometimes people do things which make them look like an idiot or a worthless person. If you can rescue the other person in such a situation, and help him maintain his dignity, he will love you forever. And maybe someone will do the same for you sometime, when you need it most! "What goes around, comes around."

15. Hold the other person, and yourself, to high and noble standards You will almost never go wrong if you let it be known that you are, naturally, taking a morally correct path of action, and you, naturally, expect the other person to do the same. People tend to live up to the expectations others have of them. If you expect a lot from someone, he tends to give you what you expect. Likewise, if you expect little from someone, that is what you tend to get. So act honestly, and expect honesty from the other person; act morally, and expect morality from the other person; act fairly, and expect fairness from the other person.